Big feelings
When your child… gets frustrated when something doesn't work
Words to offer
“You're upset that it fell. We can pause together.”
Try
Name the feeling and stay close. Then offer a choice: some help, another way, or stopping for today. Build a tower that falls on purpose — and laugh together.
▶ Watch together: Uga and The TowerGrowing up
When your child… wants to do it alone and won't accept help
Words to offer
“Which part do you want help with?”
Try
Offer one small, specific kind of help, then wait. Show “help” with two open hands, so asking can happen even without words.
▶ Watch together: Uga and The KiteBig feelings
When your child… hits, pushes or bites when angry
Words to offer
“I won't let you hit. You're so angry! You can stamp your feet.”
Try
Safety first: calmly stop the hand and look after the child who was hurt. Offer a safe way to let the anger out, like stamping like an elephant. Repair later, when everyone is calm.
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… gets angry with you after a “no”
Words to offer
“You're angry with me. That's okay. I'm right here.”
Try
Stay close and keep the limit, kind and firm. Where you can, find a small “yes”: “Not the knife — you can stir with the spoon.”
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… is scared of noises, the dark or new places
Words to offer
“We can look from here. I'm with you.”
Try
Look together, one small step at a time. Your child chooses how close to go and where to stop. No need to prove bravery.
▶ Watch together: Uga and The Strange SoundEveryday moments
When your child… finds bedtime hard
Words to offer
“I'm nearby. If you need me, I'll help.”
Try
A bedtime routine in pictures (bath, story, cuddle, light off) and a small night light. No screens in the last hour before sleep.
An Uga story about this is on its wayEveryday moments
When your child… cries when you leave them at nursery or school
Words to offer
“I'm going, and I'll come back after lunch. Here's something of mine to keep.”
Try
A short goodbye ritual that is the same every day, a small object to look after until you're back, and a warm reunion. Don't sneak away.
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… is sad when someone leaves
Words to offer
“They've gone and you miss them. I'm staying with you.”
Try
A family goodbye ritual (waving from the window, a drawing for next time) and a mark on the calendar for when you'll meet again.
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… has a new baby brother or sister
Words to offer
“There's room in my heart for both of you.”
Try
Ten minutes of special time every day, just the two of you, with your child choosing the game. Some “baby” behaviour is normal for a while.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… won't share something special
Words to offer
“You're still using it. You can say “not yet”.”
Try
Turns, not forced sharing. Special things can rest somewhere safe before friends arrive. Practise “not yet” (one raised finger) and “your turn is next”.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… grabs other children's things
Words to offer
“You really wanted that. Your friend was using it. Let's ask.”
Try
Help give it back, then practise asking — with words or an open palm — and waiting for the answer.
An Uga story about this is on its wayEveryday moments
When your child… can't wait (turns, queues, presents)
Words to offer
“It's hard to wait. What can you do while you wait?”
Try
Give the wait a shape: a sand timer, a song, a small job. Keep waits short, and afterwards describe what happened: “You waited until the song ended.”
▶ Watch together: Uga and The SwingEveryday moments
When your child… won't stop playing or leave the park
Words to offer
“You want one more. This is the last one — then I'll help you put it away.”
Try
Warn ahead, choose one clear “last thing” together, and help with the ending. The limit holds; your voice stays kind.
An Uga story about this is on its wayEveryday moments
When your child… finds changes of plan hard
Words to offer
“We wanted to go outside. That's disappointing.”
Try
Tell them about the change before it happens, name the disappointment, and put a “tomorrow” mark on the calendar.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… is shy with new people
Words to offer
“You can watch first and stay with me.”
Try
Let them watch before joining in. A small job (handing out cups, holding the ball) is an easy way in. No pushing, and no “shy” label.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… doesn't want hugs or kisses from relatives
Words to offer
“You can choose how to say hello.”
Try
A “hello menu”: a wave, a high five or a hug. Your child chooses; tell relatives kindly beforehand.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… plays too rough or doesn't stop when asked
Words to offer
“You love this game. Your friend said stop — so we stop.”
Try
Play the STOP game: a raised open palm means everyone freezes, adults too. Practise it in play, so it works when it matters.
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… gets over-excited
Words to offer
“I can see your excitement. Let's make room to move.”
Try
Freeze dance: music on, everyone moves; music off, everyone stops. Then something slow together.
An Uga story about this is on its wayEveryday moments
When your child… is overwhelmed by noise or mess
Words to offer
“It's too loud. We can turn it down or move away.”
Try
Offer options, not pressure: ear defenders or a quieter spot, gloves or a spoon for messy play. Watching counts as joining in.
An Uga story about this is on its wayEveryday moments
When your child… refuses new foods
Words to offer
“You can look at it and smell it. You don't have to taste it.”
Try
A fruit orchestra: look, touch, smell, tap — no pressure to eat. Offer the new food again another day, next to something familiar.
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… can't bear losing
Words to offer
“You really wanted to win. That's disappointing.”
Try
Short games where the adult loses too — and shows how: “Oh, I lost. I'm a bit disappointed. Again?”
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… compares themself or wants everything perfect
Words to offer
“It didn't turn out how you wanted. You can leave it like that.”
Try
The scribble game: take turns turning a wobbly line into something. Describe their choices, not the result.
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… broke something or had an accident
Words to offer
“It was an accident. Let's fix it together.”
Try
Mistakes are for learning: clean up or mend it together, without shame. If someone was upset, help your child offer help rather than a forced “sorry”.
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… has lost something precious
Words to offer
“It mattered to you. I'll stay with you.”
Try
Name the sadness and stay close. No rush to replace it or cheer them up; a drawing of what was lost can help.
▶ Watch together: Uga and The PortraitFriends
When your child… doesn't know what to do when a friend is sad
Words to offer
“You don't have to fix it. We can stay with them.”
Try
Play “Teddy is sad”: what could we do? Sit with him, bring a blanket, wait. Being there is already helping.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… leaves someone out, or is left out
Words to offer
“What could we change so we can all play together?”
Try
Change the game so everyone fits: a bigger circle, a new role, one more chair.
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… is disappointed by a gift
Words to offer
“You hoped for something different. That's disappointing.”
Try
Accept the disappointment first. Later, make tiny gifts for each other and say why you chose them.
An Uga story about this is on its wayEveryday moments
When your child… says “I'm bored!”
Words to offer
“You don't know what to do right now. We can just be here for a moment.”
Try
Don't fix it straight away: boredom often comes just before a new idea. Balancing games, a box of odds and ends, a slow walk to look at things.
An Uga story about this is on its wayBig feelings
When your child… feels misunderstood
Words to offer
“Show me what happened before and after.”
Try
A shadow story with a torch: your child shows what happened; you watch and ask.
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… needs to feel proud
Words to offer
“You chose how to make it. Which part do you like?”
Try
Describe one choice they made (“you used three colours for the sky”) instead of saying “good job”.
An Uga story about this is on its wayFriends
When your child… wants to belong in a group
Words to offer
“Your idea matters, and other people's ideas have a place too.”
Try
A family picnic where everyone chooses one part: the place, the food or the game.
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… has seen you lose your temper
Words to offer
“I got too angry. I'm going to take a pause, and then I'll come back.”
Try
Adults get it wrong too. Take a pause, come back and repair: “I shouted. I'm sorry. Let's try again.” Breathing slowly together helps you both.
An Uga story about this is on its wayGrowing up
When your child… just wants to wonder
Words to offer
“Look — it moves when you move!”
Try
A torch and a wall, reflections in water, a magnifying glass. Follow their lead.
An Uga story about this is on its way
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